What Was Your Favorite Part of the Day?

Handmade card from Etsy by JulieAnnArt

Taking time to note the things in life for which we are thankful is an important thing, I think. We don't have to acknowledge that gratitude by shouting from the rooftops, or letting out a big "Hallelujah." If that's your style, that's fine. For me, I prefer to take note at the end of the day. And on this blog, apparently!

I posted a version of this entry a bit ago on a different blog, and wanted to repost it here because I need the reminder. Sometimes, in the rush of the day, I forget to acknowledge the good fortune that crosses my path every day in small and not-so-small ways.

I'm dating this nice guy, and when we first started to stay with one another, we created a ritual before we fell asleep. Fortunately, we still practice this ritual, and I hope it's something we can continue for years.

Each night we ask one anther "What was your favorite part of the day?" I started asking on a day when we had been picking and bickering. I wanted to remember why I actually liked the guy. 

'Favorite and thankful' is a problem solver

Things have morphed a bit since we started this game. We've added a question: "What are you thankful for today?" And the game has developed a shorthand. When we're both tired, we just blurt out: "Favorite and thankful?"

During the time we've developed this ritual, something unexpected happened. It turns out, more and more, my "favorite thing today" is anticipating talking about my "favorite and thankful."

This game doesn't solve big personal, local, state or world issues - things such as losing a job, cities cutting back services in response to cuts to state aid and a tanked economy, Minnesota's multi-billion dollar deficit, genocide in Darfur, or a disappearing ice shelf and drowning polar bears. 

But it has helped solve things in my relationship - hurt feelings, petty anger, fears of being disconnected. And it has opened the door to some tough conversations - where is this relationship headed, how are we going to get there, what about our finances?

I don't know how long it will work, or how far it will work.

But I am thankful I've found this little conversation to bring me closer to someone I truly care about. I do wish, though, that I had had the insight and courage to undertake this ritual while I was married.