It's the Little Things, Stupid
Authors Note: From an old blog. Reposted here. Written during Fall 2009.
A new relationship can be confusing. I'm dating a kind and gentle man. We spent the weekend doing what can only be described as mundane and ordinary things. We did some home repair work, bought groceries, took the dog to the park.
Saturday we went to Menards to get salt pellets for the water softener. He was kind enough to lug the 50-pound bags of pellets to the basement. I'm no shrinking violet, no weak little thing. I'm a Yeti-sized kid from South St. Paul. I'm well able to carry bags of water softener salt. But he wanted to. And I let him. It was a kind gesture on his part.
On my part, it was a breakthrough. Maybe that's an exaggeration. But it was something, that's for sure. Most days I refuse help, my mantra "I'll get it" or "No biggie, I'll do it" and I just keep moving.
The point is that I'm used to doing stuff like lugging bags of salt from the store to the car. From the car to the house. Downstairs. Tearing the bag open with my teeth (yes, it's stupid). And I'm used to wrestling the bags up to dump them into the water softener. I'm used to manual labor, "running a shovel" as my dad called it, to plant a garden or rebuild a rock retaining wall.
Letting someone help is one of the most difficult things I've tried to do. But I'm glad I have a chance to spend time with someone from whom I want to be helped.
Later Saturday evening we ran out for groceries, and stopped for a cup of coffee. We were going to read The Onion and City Pages, but the shop had a Chess set. I'd never played before. I let him teach me. Right now I'm rotten at the game, but he's eager to teach me. I'm looking forward to it.
(Originally posted during 2009)
A new relationship can be confusing. I'm dating a kind and gentle man. We spent the weekend doing what can only be described as mundane and ordinary things. We did some home repair work, bought groceries, took the dog to the park.
Saturday we went to Menards to get salt pellets for the water softener. He was kind enough to lug the 50-pound bags of pellets to the basement. I'm no shrinking violet, no weak little thing. I'm a Yeti-sized kid from South St. Paul. I'm well able to carry bags of water softener salt. But he wanted to. And I let him. It was a kind gesture on his part.
On my part, it was a breakthrough. Maybe that's an exaggeration. But it was something, that's for sure. Most days I refuse help, my mantra "I'll get it" or "No biggie, I'll do it" and I just keep moving.
A perfect couple
I joke with my roommate that we'd be the perfect couple. I do the home repair stuff, shovel, carry heavy things. She cleans up the yard after the dogs, buys the toilet paper because I forget. We'd be the perfect couple if only we both wanted to be with women.The point is that I'm used to doing stuff like lugging bags of salt from the store to the car. From the car to the house. Downstairs. Tearing the bag open with my teeth (yes, it's stupid). And I'm used to wrestling the bags up to dump them into the water softener. I'm used to manual labor, "running a shovel" as my dad called it, to plant a garden or rebuild a rock retaining wall.
Letting someone in
With this man, I want to slow down. I want to let him help me. And I want to be helped by him. It may be that I'm opting to let myself be vulnerable, in a sense.Letting someone help is one of the most difficult things I've tried to do. But I'm glad I have a chance to spend time with someone from whom I want to be helped.
Later Saturday evening we ran out for groceries, and stopped for a cup of coffee. We were going to read The Onion and City Pages, but the shop had a Chess set. I'd never played before. I let him teach me. Right now I'm rotten at the game, but he's eager to teach me. I'm looking forward to it.
(Originally posted during 2009)
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